Daddy Problems
by Emiko Estelle
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha and his girlfriend Sakura Haruno decide to adopt a child, Naruto Uzumaki. SasuNaru AU
1. Men & Woman

SasuNaru / AU

This is an adoptive father x adoptive son relationship, meaning dadxson type of thing, don't like, don't read. For those who don't care and are looking for a fic with minimum spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes, please enjoy.

I don't own Naruto, Sasuke does— errr, I mean _Masashi Kishimoto __does. _

D A D D Y _P R O B L E M S_

_**Chapter one**_

Man has _will_, but woman has her _way_

_X_

_X_

_X_

Sasuke isn't gay.

No matter how much he gels his hair, wears a huge amount of make-up, and wears the tightest cloths he can find — he refuses to be put down to the ugly word, it was an abomination to all human kind, gays and lesbians were plain out revolting, and when he had voiced that thought out loud to Sakura, the woman had punched him square in the face, yelling profanities like 'what if are one day son or daughter is gay!', then proceeded with her mood-swings, while her boyfriend regretted telling her such a thing on her period.

Sakura and Sasuke had been dating for about 10 years now, ever since they were about 16, while the pinkette screamed about how much she wants to get married, her boyfriend bluntly objects each approach. He wasn't a man of god, or marriage, so the idea sounded retarded to him. So instead, he suggested the idea of _kids_, yeah, what an idiot. The raven male hated children, with a passion in fact, he wanted to steal all of their lollipops and kick them all in the butt into the nearest closet, he didn't care if they were being good or not. Children drooled, screamed and whined. 3 things that would forever be on the Uchiha 'hate list',

While Sasuke kicked himself inside and out, Sakura began to squeal like a dying whale, she was more than thrilled with the repulsive idea. So every time the keen on having children woman was on her period, they fucked like bunnies. After their 5th attempt, a failure at that, they had approached — almost beat the snot of their doctor — demanding why Sakura wasn't getting pregnant, Sasuke had joined in on the violent act merely because he was getting pissed with his girlfriend's whining. A child was much better than her constant bitching. So the doctor, fearing for his pathetic excuse for a life, did some test, and shakily admitted that Sakura wasn't able to get pregnant. Bloody fucking hell.

So — he had suggested the idea of adopting a snot nose child, and Sasuke was sure he was going to call up Neji later, demanding his family doctor is murdered. The pink headed girl brightened up at the idea, nodding happily, and deciding by herself, that she was going to adopt a baby boy. Cause apparently she wanted a boy. Sasuke could only bitterly follow her along as she approached the orphanage, two weeks after they had went to the doctor getting the horrible bittersweet news.

"Were adopting a boy, I don't want a baby though, maybe a 4 year old?" She hummed thoughtfully, placing a thin finger up too her parted lips as she hummed more, he gritted his teeth, even if he was forced into the whole ordeal, he refused to get a child if he was adopting, he wanted a teenager. No more questions asked, he would get his way.

"No, 16" he bargained, adding another 12 years to the wanted age, Sakura sent him a quick dirty look, before smirking a bit.

"Fine, but he has to have colourful hair." She added in with a small wave of her finger, a mischievous glint in her eyes, meaning she was getting someone with bright hair like her own. Sasuke could merely wince at the soon-to-be-son. He didn't understand why she was agreeing so easily, usually she would argue until she got her way, or maybe she was compromising, she gets a male and colourful hair, Sasuke get's a 16 year old. They were only 26 themselves, so they wouldn't be much of parental figures, but it would fill Sakura's needs until she got out of the wanting children stage.

Quietly, no further discussion on the topic, they entered the orphanage that Sakura had apparently applied for, 2 weeks in advance, so they were welcome to grab a child and hitch hike out of there the moment they picked. A smiling blond woman, motioned happily to the doors, which apparently had all the children behind — much to Sasuke's horror, hundreds of tiny and large _gross_ drooling children were crawling all over the place. "What age?" the blond piqued, the raven grunted loudly the age, "16" he interjected, before Sakura who say otherwise.

The woman gave another odd look, but smiled, walking through the ocean of unowned children, before opening a door to reveal about 10 people. The 16 year olds, that Sasuke presumed, immediately looked up to the sudden entrance,

"Boys and girls," the lady spoke happily, Sasuke looked over to his sparkling eyed girlfriend, who looked to be in heaven of some sort. It wasn't like they were boys harem or something, she had Sasuke for that, she was merely excited of having a kid, with her boyfriend. She didn't care for the age — she would learn to love them as if they were her own. "Sakura-san and Sasuke-san are looking for a male, 16," she gave a short curt nod before exiting the room, the girls grunted loudly, following the director out of the room, into the smaller children area, and one of the guys, must have been older or younger. They were eventually left with one beautiful looking boy, who had long brown hair, so Sasuke deducted that wouldn't be their child, then his eyes scanned the red-headed boy, and shaked his head, Sakura was looking for really bright hair.

Then, another brunette with spiky hair came into view, and the male frowned.

"There's one more" the red-head said, pointing towards a lump, that was a boy curled up, sleeping, the red-head moved his way over to the sleeping boy, kicking him slightly to reveal a tanned blond, _bright blond_, too shot up, glaring towards the figure that woke him up.

"SASUKKEEE!" Sakura squealed in delight, said male cringed. Clinging to the males arm, in a fail attempt to woo him, he was still in a daze, the blond hair was so _bright_, it was almost blinding. The blond boy blinked a bit, revealing the giant cerulean orbs, that made Sakura squeal more in delight. "Please please please!" she chanted, in a pleading voice, the raven grunted loudly.

"Blond one, what's your name?" Sasuke asked, monotone.

"Naruto Uzumaki," he piped loudly, showing a blinding smile with pearly white canines. At least the boy had good hygiene, Sasuke thought hopefully.

"Not anymore," Sasuke said softly, giving the best fake-smile he can muster up at the moment, "your Naruto Uchiha." The tanned boys face brightened up more than possible, jumping up from his half-awake stance, the blanket falling off to reveal a toned tanned chest, and long skinny tanned legs, the boy had looks.

Naruto jumped around the room, quickly grabbing his things, making Sakura laugh a bit, Sasuke watched in distaste as his new son pulled on cloths and said his good-bye to the other orphans, before following his new parents out of the room. When they had filled the proper files, and paperwork, as the blond male played with the small children, Sasuke noted to make his new son shower when they get home. When everything was done, they made their way out of the orphanage, quickly making their way to the high-class truck, jumping in, along with Sakura and Naruto, he cringed knowing full well, the hour ride home would be talkative.

"So Naruto," Sakura began, Sasuke cringed some more, the creases on his forehead becoming visible, the tanned boy jumped up slightly, smiling blindly at the her.

"Yes... ?"

"mom!" She corrected happily, shoving a thumb into her boyfriends chest, "and dad!" Sasuke gave a short nod to the acknowledgement, "he doesn't speak much, and has a horrible temper, so don't take anything he says to heart. Anyways he hates kids, and I wanted someone old enough to take care of themselves in a way, but still young enough so I can be momish! But yeah, I can't get pregnant..." She continued on, eventually coming to a halt with her ramble before, "tell me about yourself Naruto!"

"Uuuh, I'm Naruto Uchiha, I love ramen, and yeah... and I hate the 3 minutes you have to wait to make it—" '_great my new son is a complete idiot_' Sasuke thought with a distasteful click of his tongue, "my parents died in a car crash when I was around 8 years old, I was really shocked when I saw someone adopting someone from the teenagers area, it's really rare... And were told to have no hopes of getting adopted, so I'm really grateful!" he beamed happily, Sakura beaming back. It was all too happy for poor Sasuke.

"Sasuke, Introduce yourself!" The mother growled out, said male flinched but nodded.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha, technically Sakura is Sakura Haruno, cause were not married, and your listed under my name, but yeah... I'm 26 years old, I run the Uchiha Branch Corps, I have an older brother, but he's somewhere that I don't give a fuck about, if you can't contact either me or Sakura, you'll have Neji's number," he shut his mouth back into a firm frown before continuing with his driving, Sakura gave a loud snort and a roll of her pretty emerald eyes.

"His talking limit is up," she briefed, turning around so she was facing Naruto, "you'll grow on him eventually, don't worry." Her blinding kind smile, startled the boy slightly, but he was determined to get along with his new parents, he would do his best to please them both.

"Okay mom, soooo, what do you do?"

"I'm a model! But I don't work a lot, considering Sasuke makes enough money himself,"

"Aaah!" Naruto said, smiling like an idiot, his cerulean orbs darted up to where his father his, than to the rode in front of the male, the already big enough eyes became bigger — so did the abyss orbs as a car came rolling towards them, Sakura seeing the distress laughed kindly, oblivious, Sasuke snapped his head side-ways, opening his mouth, than his eyes darted towards the undone seatbelt of his girlfriend,

"What's wrong Naruto?" She asked kindly — the blond heard a loud scream escape the raven's lips, a scream left his as well as the pinkette tilted her head to the front, a look of horror crossing her features as the rolling vehicle came rolling into the truck, a piece of metal quickly halted itself through Sakura's head and a bit through the seat, the car they were currently sitting in rolling over as the father screamed in more horror, Naruto pursed his lips shut, cerulean orbs tearing horribly as he watched the bloodied piece of metal go through his new mother's head,

The truck came to a halt, fire coming in random areas, Sasuke being an Uchiha quickly recovered, quickly taking in the damage — he realized he didn't have long till the vehicle exploded, he looked over towards his girlfriend, a look of horror crossing his face as he took in the piece of metal that was pierced through her head, and another piece, too close to comfort, pierced near him and Naruto, he tilted his head back, looking at the dumbstruck blond, clicking his tongue in distaste, he unbuckled himself, crawling to the back of the truck,

"Naruto" he said firmly, shaking the boy a bit, who didn't respond, grunting loudly, he unbuckled his son, bringing him into his arms, and began to look for some sort of exit, the truck was tilted on Sakura's side, so he had to crawl up slightly to make it towards the other side of the truck, throwing open the passenger side, he jumped down, still holding the silent blond, as soon as he was out, he wasted no time getting as far as his legs could carry him.

As soon as he was a safe distance away from the car, he dropped down, placing the blond onto the cement, dropping his forehead beside the 16 year olds shoulder, and with all his pride, _cried_.

X

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A giant uproar came about when the crash was finally released on the news, everyone began to call their boss, making sure for their pay checks safety, if he was okay, the crash only happened about 20 or some minutes ago, yet it seemed as if the whole world already new. Even Sasuke's over sea's business partners were calling to check up on him. Robotically he answered each, saying yes he's fine, then hung up. Not bothering to start any conversation with his son, he barely knew the teenager, he was willing to do this whole parenting thing with _Sakura_. He was prepared for the ordeal, but he wasn't prepared to see a chunk of metal pierced through the girls head.

And bitterly, he began to think thoughts like he would rather see that piece of metal pierced through his sons head, but shook the ideas out of his head — no matter if he just met the boy, 4 or 3 hours ago, Naruto was still his son in some sick twisted way of the law. And so, Sasuke would do his best to take care of his son, which is why his body probably moved on its own to save the dumbstruck male.

While the news cast was just itching to get an interview with a covered in blood and black dirt Sasuke, Neji had come on scene the moment Sasuke called him, whimpering and crying incoherent words, while the brunette male forced everyone to keep their distance, Naruto and Sasuke sat completely silent beside each other, they couldn't speak at this moment, both their lips were shut, they were still scarred.

"Thank you" Naruto whispered softly, curling up into a small ball, he didn't bother to cast a look towards his father, who smiled bitterly.

"did your parents die the same way? Pierced through the head?" Sasuke asked, leaning back onto the palm of his hands, ignoring the stinging sensation coming from them in protest.

"Don't know, I wasn't with them" he answered, "you can un-adopt me if you want, I would understand..." he finished, placing his small tanned head onto his bony knees, he watched in disinterest as the paramedics and police were removing the bodies from the other car, and the one they had been in a few minutes again. As they wrote information down in their little notebooks, Naruto cringed slightly at the sight, they looked like robots who have done this a million times — and it was a little disgusting to watch, honestly.

"Moron" Sasuke said softly, sending his son a cold glare. "your _my_ son, you were in the first place." Now, Sasuke wasn't a type of person to say sappy shit, and try to cheer people up when he needed a bit of cheering up himself, so when the boy that he had just adopted, and better be damn grateful for it, starts sprouting shit like to disown him, he can merely grit his teeth and avoid from punching the boy in the face.

Naruto turned towards his father with his mouth slightly agap, before a small smile formed on his lips. "You might die," he interjected quickly, too quickly,

"I won't die until your 18 and you have my whole in heritage."

"Everyone around you will die"

"then it will be just you and me," he snapped back, glaring cold daggers towards the blond — who was currently smiling the biggest smile ever seen, frowning more, Sasuke didn't understand what he had said to make the male smile so much, but shrugged it off.

"Neji, prepare a car... I want to go home." Sasuke said, raising himself then glaring towards his off-spring to get the hell up, who quickly did. The brunette quickly nodded, bringing out his phone and calling up a driver to come and get the pair, within 10 minutes, they were in a clean limo, then within 40 so minutes, they were finally at the mansion. Naruto's eyes almost bulged out when he looked at the overly large home, before quickly following Sasuke into the mansion, when they entered, they placed their coats on the hangers and made their way towards the kitchen.

"Choose one of the spare rooms, then you can decorate it to your likings." He said shrugging off the tension in his shoulders, eyes still slightly down casted. No matter how cold he is, he cannot just get over seeing his girlfriends death like that so quickly, dare he say it, he actually enjoyed her company. She was nice — she was kind, she was open minded, she didn't mind trying to command Sasuke, she was in love with him, and she put up with everything he threw at her. Sasuke doubted her could ever find a girl like her again, but at the moment, he would have to focus on more important things, like being a good father, making sure Naruto isn't completely messed up from seeing that, and, fixing the crisis on the news about him. Along with some funeral planning, he wanted to give the girl a huge funeral, she deserved it, it was her last party after all.

Cringing slightly, he remembered when he had went to his parents funerals — how Itachi rubbed his back the whole time, whispering things like it was okay. Sasuke had lost his parents when he was 8, like Naruto. Which was slightly shocking at the similar past, but 10 years after the loss, Itachi and Sasuke strayed away from each other, and still don't care much for each other. Itachi was somewhere in homo land smooching with Deidara, while leaving the whole company on Sasuke's shoulders. Gritting his teeth slightly, he looked over to the quiet blond. He needed to focus on getting the boy back onto a _sane_ path.

"It's not your fault," Sasuke added in, as if he was reading Naruto's mind, but, it didn't take a genius to know what the boy was thinking.

"And if it is?" Naruto said with determination in his voice, looking up his father, cerulean orbs watering slightly, but not crying. "It's my fault she was turned around talking to me, without a seat belt,"

"A piece of metal flew through her head, Naruto..." Sasuke wanted to say it was more of his fault for not swerving out of the way, he might have saved a life if he had, but of course, Uchiha's don't admit to their mistakes. The blond shook his head in protest, but suddenly stopped when a cold forehead was pressed against his.

"Just go to sleep, it doesn't matter..." Sasuke muttered pulling away from the boy, he merely did that action, because Sakura did it to him whenever he was brooding over something, she would place her forehead against his, smile and tell him to just go to sleep and that it didn't matter — doing that to his son, just felt like something a parent would do. Turning his back towards Naruto again, he began to look around in the fridge for some type of food.

Hearing the creak of the chair, he was content to see the boy walking towards the stairs, at least the boy was obedient. While he beamed at himself — a flushed Naruto stomped up the stairs.

'_who the hell does he think he is!_' the blond screamed mentally, not noticing the lack of reaction from Sasuke, he wasn't flushed from the sudden close contact, he was flushed cause it was a love-dovey type of thing to do! Sakura had said Sasuke was more to a himself type of guy, so Naruto was expecting a type of parent that neglected him in total, than — the bastard of a father goes and says something mushy gushy like that, scaring the poor boy out of his wits. But then again, the man had just lost his girlfriend, it probably wasn't weird for them to do something so close contact, it was probably a ritual in this house.

He frowned at the memory of the smiling pink headed girl, he had barely known her, she was the reason he had been adopted in the first place, but death had taken her life cause he was there, he owed Sasuke _everything_. He took away Sasuke's remaining family — from what he knows, so, Naruto decided that very moment, he would become the guys family. If he couldn't be the perfect son for his father, than he be damned trying.

X

X

X

"Morning" Sasuke said sleepily, casting a semi-worried gaze towards the all smiles blond,

"morning" Naruto replied in an all-too-happy voice, causing Sasuke to give a short cough in his hand, it all seemed so fake.

He wanted to ask 'hey Naruto are you okay?' but that just seemed like something abnormally awkward to ask, so he pressed his lips in a thin line before handing the blond a sort of paper, who sent it an odd gaze, which the father grunted loudly too.

"Whenever you want to start school — I have you registered"

"oh wow, thanks, I'll start today"

"today?"

"Yeah why not, your going to work anyways, right?"

Sasuke's lips were pressed shut again as he gave the boy a short curt nod before exciting his home, Naruto, seeing his father leave sighed loudly and began to get ready for his first day of school. He wasn't excited in the least, but he had to try to be the perfect child, which meant studying, attitude, and word-choice. He was sure bursting up on his father's face when he said he registered him for school would be rude — so he decided to just go. Even if Sasuke was implying later in the month, Naruto knew brooding over the fact he saw someone get their head pierced was not healthy, it was better to just let it go, without letting it out completely.

X

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X

Finally in his iron-pressed school uniform, which consisted of a white blazer and black dress pants, he ran a random brush through his sunny blond locks before making his way out the door, determined to become the perfect child for Sasuke. Coming into view of the school, he was slightly shocked it wasn't some type of private school — no, it was a normal kids school. He smiled slightly sheepishly at this, walking through the gates with confidence, he could do this.

Going to his first class, English, he was slightly startled to see a shit load of teenagers his age staring at him with burning eyes, Naruto had a feeling the 'Uchiha incident' was all over the news, but he didn't suspect people his age to know about him being the adoptive child. He was hoping he wouldn't need to go through that. The teacher gave him a short look of kindness, before motioning the blond towards the front of the class.

"What's your name?" The teacher interjected, smiling blindly while the students practically burned holes into the new boy, Naruto shifted nervously, he knew his new name, but, what grief would it bring him from stating it? Could he brag about it? But that would be wrong, and a perfect Uchiha child would not brag about being a rich-boys son. Nipping the inside of his cheek he tried to think, was his name released on the news? He knew he should've watched it last night.

"Ah... I'm Naruto Uch—" he shifted again, watching all the eyes, when it dawned on him, they were staring at his hair. His fucking hair, resisting the urge to hit his head against the chalkboard, he smiled brightly and continued. "I'm Naruto Uchiha!" he chirped happily, watching his fellow classmates mouths hang open.

"Uchiha?" The teacher asked sceptically, Naruto nodded again, "who's your father?" the brunette male asked kindly, Naruto weighed his options,

"Sasuke" he responded easily, watching as more mouths hung open, expect for the occasional 'i-don't-care' type of person, the teacher shifted nervously, giving the boy a sad gaze,

"I'm sorry for your lost, now, everyone please treat Uchiha-san very kindly."

_Uchiha-san_, Naruto thought, gritting his teeth slightly, before when he was an orphan, and announced his name, there was never any honouring, it was a little degrading just because Sasuke is a multimillionaire that owned many companies, didn't mean the teacher had to treat Naruto like a complete rich snob, cause he was sure, even Sasuke wouldn't want a son that let's the power go to his pretty little head. Tsking slightly, he motioned himself to his seat, sitting beside a spiky-brunette, who smiled to him care freely, Naruto couldn't help but flash his white canines back.

Lunch came faster than one could count to 10, huffing loudly, he pushed back his seat,

"Yo, Uchiha!" a loud voice boomed, successfully making Naruto jump out of his skin, sceptically, Naruto looked towards the male that was sitting beside him, huffing a sigh of relief.

"Naruto" he corrected, smiling towards his classmate,

"Kiba" 'Kiba' said happily, Naruto swore if the male was a dog, he'd be wagging his tail like no tomorrow at this very moment, the blond nodded, still smiling, ignoring the fact that his face was starting to hurt. "Want to eat lunch with me and my friends?" Kiba said in a chirpy happy tone, Naruto once again weighed the options, but concluded it couldn't hurt to have a few friends, he didn't need to be a complete loner. Just needed to have close-too-perfect grades.

"Yeah, why not." Naruto laughed out, shoving his hands into his pockets and following Kiba out of the classroom, who began to walk along beside him at one point.

"Maaan, you're a lot different than I thought you would be!" The brunette said thoughtfully, earning an arched brow.

"I thought you were gonna be some rich-snob that just smiles in front of a crowd." Kiba said, crossing his arms behind his head, and flashing his new friend a goofy smile, who smiled back.

"I tricked you then," Naruto hummed happily, stopping in front of the lunch table with two blond girls, one with a large pony-tail and half of her face covered by her bangs, and a multiple pony-tailed girl, both girls smiled happily, and Naruto repeated the motion.

"Naruto Uchiha"

"Temari"

"Ino" they answered, laughing the names off.


	2. Never try

SasuNaru / AU

This is an adoptive father x adoptive son relationship, meaning dadxson type of thing, don't like, don't read. For those who don't care and are looking for a fic with minimum spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes, please enjoy.

I don't own Naruto, Sasuke does— errr, I mean _Masashi Kishimoto __does. _

D A D D Y _P R O B L E M S_

_**Chapter two**_

You tried your _best_ and you failed _miserably_ the lesson is '_never try_'

X

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X

Something was suspicious in the Uchiha household.

It _reeked_ of suspicion, and Sasuke wanted to get to the bottom of it. It had been a week and 2 days since the bloody accident, and not once had he caught any sign of weakness from his newly-adopted-son. And that was exactly the problem, there should be some type of weakness. According to Neji, the boy should have some nightmares, or have personality problems, or maybe won't be able to socialize with anyone for a certain amount of time. But nothing of the sorts has happened, it was the exact opposite.

Naruto came home every day and talked for 20 minutes exactly about his day, than spent the rest of the night studying for school. When he came down for dinner, depending on Sasuke's mood, the boy will talk, or he won't. It was all too perfect, it stunk of lies. So he decided to get to the bottom of it, again his son was entering the door, with his perfect set of canines showing, whilst he dropped his bag in the area Sasuke had told him too.

That was another thing, Naruto never disobeyed him. And the scene was starting to feel oddly familiar, and that's when it struck Sasuke like a being slapped across the face, Naruto was trying to be a perfect child, just how like Sasuke had tried for his father. Gritting his teeth, he leaned back into the kitchen chair, crossing his legs, his arms following the same manor. Naruto carefully walked in, calculating his attitude,

"Good evening dad" Naruto said stoically, as if he rehearsed.

"Naruto" Sasuke acknowledged, eying the boy carefully, before the lips of his son opened again, he spoke up, "why are you trying to act perfect?" Sasuke interjected, still eying the boy carefully, Naruto for a slight second gasped in slight shock, before quickly recovering and placing up his mask.

"What do you mean?" he answered robotically, smiling fakely.

"I spent years of my life trying to impress my father, I'm sure I can sense when my own son is trying to act perfect for me." He snapped back, tapping his finger in an annoyed manor, Naruto glared slightly at the raven before him, before crossing his arms and losing the act.

"Oh, so famous Sasuke Uchiha doesn't want a perfect son?"

Sasuke snorted loudly to this, "I don't care how you act," he interjected standing up and making his way towards the boy, poking the tanned forehead rather harshly. "your my son," he finished, walking past the boy and up to his bedroom, he needed to go blow some steam before he took it out of the boy in front of him. While Sasuke stormed upstairs, Naruto fumed downstairs.

How dare his bastard father not appreciate the extra hard effort he had been putting in for the man, for fucking sakes, he was even studying! No matter how much his brain threatened to melt and fall out of his ear, he studied, never fought at school, and made friends. He seems pretty damn perfect in his mind, but if his dad really wants him to be his normal self, than so fucking be it! Naruto snorted loudly, slamming open the cabinet doors, grabbing random packages of food before shoving them onto the little island in the middle of the room, and with all his might, began eating like the pig he is.

Lately he had been refraining from eating everything in the guys house, but considering the situation, he decided it would be okay to eat everything. Not that Sasuke ate much anyways, the bastard took like 4 bites and he was done for the day, Naruto had to cut back a shit load to please his almost perfect dad. Shoving random foods in his mouth, he heard the soft creaks of the stairs signalling his dad was coming, not bothering to even look up, he kept eating away.

"The fuck?" Sasuke muttered out, eying his son in disgust.

"You said I should be who I really am, and look dad-bastard, I'm being who I really am." Naruto resorted quickly, shoving a twinky in his mouth while another look of disgust followed the motioned, licking off his fingers in content, he looked up to the abyss orbs.

"Going to un-adopt me now?"

"No" Sasuke said after a moments silence, walking up to the counter and picking up the large amount of wrappers before throwing them in the trash can, crinkling his forehead, he sighed loudly, turning back around to eye his son in more disgust, "your covered in shit" he said honestly, eying the blond up and down, who snorted loudly to the comment.

"I hate showering, live with it."

Sasuke stared in slight disbelief, his son went from perfect to a complete rebel, maybe he shouldn't have spoken against the boys antics, they were starting to make complete sense to him. Frowning to the comment, Sasuke like all Uchiha's weighed the options , fuck that, he growled loudly, pouncing the boy, who squeaked loudly to the pressure, pinning the blond down underneath him, he gave the best glare he could muster and spat out the venomous words,

"Shower you damn pig"

"no fucking way!" Naruto resorted trashing under his father who was sighing in defeat, he was 26, with a 16 year old son who was fighting him to shower, Sasuke Uchiha never in his life ever imagined he would be in this type of situation.

'_How do normal parents get their kids to do things they like?... bribery_.' His lips curved upwards to the very tempting thought, "alright you disgusting pig, what do you want?"

"ramen" Naruto quickly chirped out, smirking towards his father, if he could get ramen for every shower he's suppose to take, he'll have a life time supply, Sasuke stared at the blond hair and blue eyed son in disbelief, Naruto wanted ramen. _Fucking ramen_. The father figure cringed at the disgusting choice of food, but reluctantly got off and brushed off imaginary dirt.

"You're an idiot" he concluded loudly, still staring at his son with an awed expression. Sasuke never thought in his 26 years of living he'd meet someone so... retarded. But then again, he did live with Itachi for a fair bit of time. Naruto snorted loudly, sending his dad a nasty look before charging upstairs to the bathroom.

"Glad to please you, bastard." Naruto muttered under his breath, when he was completely out of ear shot, slowly he made his way to the shower, stepping into the glass like coffin, he lathered his hair out, rinsed his body with soap, and deducted that clean enough, stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist, he made his way back downstairs. Sasuke cringed some more to the sight of his half naked son, he did not feel comfortable enough to be sharing body parts with the boy, _yet_.

"get dressed." Sasuke demanded,

"no" Naruto resorted, smirking. He didn't want to be a lean over a table type of son anymore, he was determined to make his 2 years with Sasuke, hell. "I want to go out naked."

"Suit yourself, your junk will be all over the news, not mine." Sasuke answered monotonely, snatching his keys and standing up, walking towards the door, pleased when he heard feet pitter pattering up the stairs, his son really was an idiot. Once Naruto had thrown on a pair of boxers and jeans along with a bright orange shirt, they went on their marry way. Sasuke had decided considering his son wanted ramen, and he didn't know a thing about the vile food, he let the blond choose.

They ended up at a little ramen cart, a kind old man and his daughter serving them, Sasuke sunk in his seat slightly when he saw how the two interacted, he felt a little put off. Considering his and Naruto's relationship wasn't anything of the sorts, the father and daughter in front of him smiled kindly to each other, and bickered sometimes over a few things, but still interacted quite good. Sasuke frowned some more, feeling more put off by the fact Sakura would probably be much better at this.

"Sooo, how's school?" Sasuke finally broke the 'ramen' chant coming from the boy beside him, the blond shot him an annoyed glance, but answered one-worded.

"fine" Naruto responded, sniffing the air in pure delight, Sasuke cringed more to the response, his confidence deflating. Damn taking care of a kid was hard. Trying again,

"Any friends?"

"yeah"

"..." Sasuke stared blankly, than looked to the smiling old man for some sort of support, who caught on the eye plea and answered it kindly.

"All kids are like that, don't worry." He cooed, and Naruto shot him a weird look before devouring the bowl that was set in front of him by the old man's daughter. Sasuke rearranged his face to a passive look.

"Do we give off the son-dad vibe?" he asked hopefully, the old man laughed cheerfully.

"Definitely," he answered, turning his back to Naruto and Sasuke and went to prepare another bowl for the hungry teenager.

"Don't get your—" _sluuurp_ "hopes up, bastard."Naruto muttered out between slurps, finally finishing his bowl and pushing it aside, patiently waiting for the second one, which was quickly placed in front of him. Sasuke frowned some more, he had to note to stop frowning or else he would get wrinkles. With that thought in mind, he pushed the noodles with his chop sticks a bit before trying to strike another conversation.

"What's your friends names?"

"Kiba," _Slurppp_ "Temari," _slurp_, "Ino."

Sasuke cringed more and more with each slurp, as if he was being hammered on the head, and he was sure he was. It was quite painful to listen to the horrid sound of eating, it wasn't in the least pleasant. He deducted he needed to teach Naruto manners and how to properly eat. Naruto finished his second bowl in record time, pushing it aside as the old man appeared with another bowl. Making the father cringe/frown some more.

Sasuke decided with the 3rd bowl almost finished, he would just drop conversation in total, he wasn't a talkative person in the first place, if Naruto was really interested in conversation, he would speak himself. And surprising enough, the tactic began to work, when Naruto finished his 5th bowl, he leaned back in his chair, and began to ramble about _everything_.

"So yeah, Kiba's like my best friend, and Temari and Ino are pretty fucking cool, they're both blonds, so people call us the blond trio, ha! Funny right? I hadn't met other blond people before, so I was shocked they even existe—"

Sasuke actually preferred when it was him trying to strike a conversation with one worded replies, he was starting to pity most parents across the globe, having to listen to your off-spring ramble was like trying to get a bird to stop squawking. Near impossible. Soon, after about an hour of Naruto's one-sided conversation, which concluded of 'Hn's' and 'Yeahs' every so often, Sasuke gave the old man the bill and made his way away from the stall, his son following behind.

"So dad, what did you think of the ramen?"

"Ok" he responded truthfully, he wasn't a ramen person, but that ramen was quite good. So in Sasuke's opinion, if it was ever needed, he would go there for ramen with Naruto another time, only as a bribery treat. Naruto fumed slightly at the reply,

"Only good? It's the best fucking ramen alive!" he answered with a loud screech, residents around them turned to look at the pair, but continued walking as if it was normal. Now that was _odd_. Most people would stare a bit more and give dirty looks, but these people smile and turned back to their own business, did Sasuke and Naruto really give off a father/son type of thing?

Clicking his tongue in slight disgust at the fact he might look like a 40 year old male to some people, he glanced towards his smiling-like-an-idiot son, who was currently blabbering about how fucking awesome ramen is, and how you can live off of ramen for the rest of your life — or something equally retarded.

X

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X

Naruto walked into the normal school, his ego inflating slightly with each bow he received from his fellow piers, finally dropping the whole 'ego' thing in total, he made his way into his classroom, going to his original seat, surprising enough, Kiba wasn't beside him yet, sending a worried glance to the empty seat, the azure eyes scanned the seat that was beside Kiba's, that was always empty.

Kiba had once told him the guy sitting there was just a lazy ass, and that's why he didn't come, it made sense, Naruto was slightly lazy too, but if he had ever went as far as skipping class, Sasuke would honestly chop off his head. No pun intended. Cringing at the idea, the door swung open for two brunette's to enter, eying the two, one ended up being his best friend, Kiba.

"Yo! Kiba!" Naruto chirped out, leaning back in his chair while prompting up his feet onto the desk in front of him. The second brunette gave the blond a disbelieving look before shrugging it off and sitting himself into the seat beside Kiba.

"Ohhh, your the lazy guy?" Naruto continued, Kiba let out a loud howling laughter,

"Troublesome" the lazy guy muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets, while eying the blond carefully. "You adopted or something?" Kiba's laughter stopped, and Naruto looked at the brunette with a disbelieving expression.

"Just that I know the Uchiha's on a personal level, and you're not anything like Sakura or Sasuke, plus their both only 26." He leaned onto his hand, staring at Naruto with lazy knowing eyes, "unless your Deidara's kid," he added in as if as an afterthought, Naruto had no idea who that man was, and didn't feel like finding out. Grunting loudly, he glared at the male, he had picked up a thing or two from his dad, and number one was, glare at the people who piss you off.

"Yeah I'm adopted, so?"

"Nothing" the brunette said, ignoring the glare, "tell Sasuke to drop by sometime," he finished, dropping his head onto his desk, and began to snore. Kiba shook his head and turned to his best friend,

"Sorry about that, that's Shikamaru Nara, a know it all." Kiba said, giving a nervous laughter.

"Shikamaru" Naruto repeated, snorting loudly, '_a know it all is right_' he finished his thoughts when the teacher strutted in, ignoring the tension in the air. He began the lesson for the snot nose kids.

Class ended quickly, thank god, the teacher had spent most of the class talking about his sex life, with his boyfriend. Finding out your teacher is gay, isn't the most pleasant thing alive, considering Naruto was slightly bi... Okay, maybe he was more than bi. He was a complete homo, and he wasn't exactly 'proud' of it, he had sadly found out his sexuality when he had fucked his first girl, when he was 14, the key point was, he couldn't get excited, _at all_.

Kiba and Shikamaru stood up, eying the sighing blond beside them, but decided to wait till he snapped back into the real world, which Naruto quickly did and followed his friends out of the classroom, heading towards the caf, once they got to their table, sitting beside Ino, with Kiba on his other side, Temari and Shikamaru sitting beside each other on the opposite,

"You actually appeared" Temari said with a roll of her eyes, giving the pineapple looking male a disapproving glance.

"How you been, Shika?" Ino said happily, leaning on her hands while smiling kindkly. Totally different from how she usually acts, Naruto glanced towards the lazy rude brunette, before striking up his own conversation.

"You guys want to come to my house? I can ask my dad, he'll probably agree" Naruto chirped in, they all gave him a weird look,

"really? Sasuke Uchiha's house?" Ino added in, her tone sounding hopeful, Temari grunted loudly, leaning back in her seat.

"No way he'll agree" the 4 pig-tailed woman snorted out, Naruto puffed out his cheeks, glaring towards her before flipping open his cell phone to call his dad, he would make sure this could happen. It was the first time Naruto had decent friends, and he wanted to show them off too his dad. The ringing came as Naruto pressed the phone to his ear, waiting for the stern voice to come.

"What the fuck do you want?" A booming voice etched out, Naruto pulled the phone away from his ear, frowning. That fucking hurt.

"Fucking bastard! What was that for?" He shouted back, earning a loud 'hn' from the other line,

"I swear if your just wasting my time, and you're not dying, I will murder you myself." Sasuke muttered out, rubbing his temple, glaring at the cell phone, he was currently in a meeting, and because Naruto never called him before, he was rather worried, so decided to take the call. So his son better be dying, or need something urgent.

"God what got your panties in a not? I just wanted to ask if my friends could come over..."

"..."

"Dad?"

"..."

"Dadddyyyyy?" Naruto drawled out, receiving a snicker from the blond woman beside him, he shot her a glare, than glared at the phone. Than he dawned him, he really needed to stop acting like Sasuke Bastard.

"You..." Sasuke finally said, "interrupted my meeting to ask me such a pointless question?"

"Sooo," the blond had a hopeful tone, "I can?"

"NO, ABOLSUTELY NOT!" Sasuke screamed into his phone, before quickly hushing himself, there was a meeting going on right beside him. Naruto sighed loudly, before giving his friends a type of 'help me' look, Temari quickly snapped the phone from Naruto hand, determined to meet the guys father.

"Hey mister Uchiha, I'm Temari, one of the blond trio's,"

"I see, Temari-san, I have work to attend to," Sasuke's tone was completely changed, and it shocked the blond girl, but she was determined to win.

"Can we please hang out at your place? We won't make a mess, we swear!" She cooed into the phone, Naruto quickly snatched it back,

"Pleaseeeeee dad, I'll shower and brush my teeth willingly!"

"YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR TEETH?" Sasuke screeched into the phone, _again_.

"Dude.. That's nasty!" Kiba laughed out, wondering at the back of his mind why Naruto's teeth were all so white. It wasn't fair, Kiba had to brush his own teeth at least 6 times a day to get them shiny white, like Naruto's.

"Eehh, you didn't know?" Naruto finally said, still picking at his ears.

"Whatever, you win, call me again for a stupid reason and I'll make sure all your fucking junk is on the news, got it?" Naruto gave a small nod into the phone before hanging up, before it dawned on him Sasuke couldn't see him nodding.

"I knew I would win." He finished after the silence engulfed the teens, Shikamaru sighed loudly.

"troublesome."

X

X

X

The teens were currently walking their asses towards the Uchiha mansion, thankfully, Sasuke would be working late tonight, from Naruto's knowledge, so if they did mess up the house, they had time to clean it. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he walked in front of the bunch, Kiba being the only once skipping beside him.

"What's your dad like?" the brunette asked curiously, wondering what kind of man the infamous Sasuke Uchiha was, on the phone with Temari he was calm and collected, with Naruto he was screeching like no tomorrow. But then, having a kid like Naruto must be stressful, the guy doesn't even brush his teeth on will! Shivering at the nasty thought, he looked towards the scrunched up face of the tanned boy.

"A total prick" Naruto responded, "but he's nice" he added in as a sort of afterthought, he glanced back at the chatting-like-no-tomorrow blond girls behind him, Shikamaru bitterly trailing behind the group. Eventually they stopped in front of the perfect mansion, Naruto paled slightly at the sight of his father's car parked in the drive way, it wouldn't be a good night, that was for sure.

As soon as the group of teenagers entered the door, a scowling father had his arms crossed, his fingers tapping against said arm, as he gazed at his blond son in a disapproving manor. Naruto gulped slightly, giving his dad a bit of a wave, motioning for his friends to enter, which they did, rather excited to meet someone as rich as Sasuke Uchiha.

"Naruto" Sasuke said in a venomous voice, "brush your teeth right now, or I swea—"

"yeah yeah, gottacha' wait for me here you guys!" he said in a happy voice, running across the room to run up the stairs to go find a type of tooth brush his father might have laying around, Ino, Temari, Kiba and Shikamaru all stood nervously in front of Naruto's father, not sure what to say, as soon as Naruto was out of view, Sasuke's face became lighter, till he looked towards the teens.

"sorry" he said monotonelessly, giving a small bow towards the 4 teens, who gapped at the sight. "he can be an idiot," Sasuke finished, adding it in as if it was some sort of thought.

"Now, go to his room, and don't you dare bother me." He finished, his face becoming stern again, as he pointed to the stairs behind him. "Go" he said again, and the four, even Shikamaru, rush up stairs, fearing for their welfare and their lives.

The rest of the night was filled with loud obnoxious teens laughing, while Sauske attempted to do his office work.


	3. Wrong Lane

SasuNaru / AU

This is an adoptive father x adoptive son relationship, meaning dadxson type of thing, don't like, don't read. For those who don't care and are looking for a fic with minimum spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes, please enjoy.

This chapter contains a lot of **Sasuke x Sakura**, mostly Sasuke re-thinking his relationship with her.

I don't own Naruto, Sasuke does— errr, I mean _Masashi Kishimoto _does_. _

**Also, this chapter is a bit shorter than the others, please don't worry, it's merely this chapter was fluff, so I had no reason to extend a fluff chapter to 4,450 words XDD**

D A D D Y _P R O B L E M S_

_**Chapter three**_

When everything's coming _your_ way, you're in the _wrong_ lane.

_X_

_X_

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"I'm going to work" Sauske announced loudly, earning a small grunt from the kitchen, grunting himself, he swung the door open and made his way out, heading towards the sleek black convertible. Throwing himself into the leather seat, he roared the engine too life, looking up to catch a small glimpse of blond hair in the window, he smiled slightly. The dobe was watching him leave, reverting out of his drive way, he made his way onto the streets. Lately life has been falling back into place, and it was a little unnerving, it wasn't the fact he didn't like a calm life, but,

The fact his life made itself so normal in so little time after Sakura's death, was just a bit unnerving. He knew Naruto didn't miss the pinkette as much as he himself does, but, Sasuke missed her. Her funeral was still 2 weeks away, considering most of her family lived around the world and had work, they had to book the funeral later than most funerals were. But it was okay, with all the time the raven had too plan the 'last party', which was relieving because he wasn't good at planning things, no matter how well he planned things at work, funerals and work were two whole different things.

A funeral wasn't evil, it wasn't like his evil intentions he had at work, at work, he crushed other people's dreams and hopes, at a funeral, you relived all those dreams and hopes, you tried to do all the things the dead person wanted to do. So in a mere 2 weeks, when his life was falling back into complete normality, he was beginning to freak out. He should be grieving, Naruto should be grieving, this wasn't _right_.

'_I always wanted to fly!_'

He nibbled on his bottom lip, nervous, scared, terrified, her voice echoed softly in his head, causing a loud blistering head-ache to start,

'_I want to get married__—_'

The grip on the steering wheel tightened, a sole bead of sweat sliding down the side of his paling face, he felt guilty, he should have married her when he had the chance, he has the money, he had the time, he _had_ her.

'_You love me right_?'

His breath hitched loudly, finally snapping back in reality when a driver nearby had honked at him, sticking up their middle finger at the Uchiha. Abyss eyes finally focusing back onto the road, he frowned gravely. He remembered when she had asked him that question one day, when they were innocently laying on their couch when they were around 19 — she asked, Sasuke never responded.

"Yes," he whispered out, leaning back in his seat as he halted the car at a red light, his eyes fluttered upwards to glance at the top of his car roof. "I love you" he said the words monotonelessly, but he meant it, he loved the girl, she had left him with their son — _theirs_.

X

X

X

"Touch me now on the floorrr ~" Ino purred out, swinging her hips around as her giant ear-phones blasted away some sort of concoction to make a song, Kiba and Naruto sent the blond girl a weird look, who didn't realize it, considering she was oblivious to the world at this very moment, hey, it was a good song.

"I refuse" Naruto said, looking at her with disgust in his eyes, Kiba laughed loudly in return chanting the words 'me too!' along with his best friend, Shikamaru and Temari lagged behind, talking about something 'troublesome' from what Naruto could pick up in the conversation of theirs, everything was falling back into place,

The horrible dreams Naruto had the first few weeks had died down, the odd tension between him and his father was shimmering down as well, everything was becoming normal. It was slightly scary, considering the trauma he had been through, and all of a sudden he was just forgetting about it entirely, looking towards the brunette beside him, he smiled widely when Kiba was going on about some girl he had fallen in love with — Hina, or something like that.

"So how's your dad been?" the brunette finally asked, successfully snapping Naruto back into reality, the blond gave him a weird pointed look.

"Fine... why?" he answered, eying his friend suspiciously, it wasn't everyday your best friend asked you about your parent, it was a little odd, actually. Kiba gave him a type of forget-it glare, before the pineapple hair styled one behind them decided to introduce himself into the conversation,

"usually people don't overcome their lovers death well." The brunette said, Kiba gave a short supporting nod as Temari slung her arm over the dog-boys shoulders, giving the three boys an annoyed glare.

"Sasuke..." Naruto muttered out, pondering the un-answered question as well, was his father alright? He barely knew the bastard before the woman died, so if there was an attitude change, Naruto was sure he couldn't spot it, but he needed to at least talk to his dad, everyone hurts. Groaning loudly, he tangled his fingers into his hair, giving the idea a short nod before waving at his friends and running off ahead, he needed to make sure Sasuke was okay, he _had_ too.

Slamming the door open, he scanned the area for Sasuke, the raven haired male was slowly walking down the stairs,

"Don't fucking slam the do—" his parental rant was cut short upon looking at his sweaty son, it wasn't the fact he was sweaty that put him off, it was the fact Naruto was crying a river. "God..." he muttered approaching the boy carefully, he was afraid a day like this would come, when he would awkwardly have to comfort his son, how does he do it? Nipping his bottom lip nervously, he stopped in front of the blond, cerulean orbs locked on with coal ones.

"I'm sorry" he muttered out, coal eyes widened incredibly, slitting in the direction of his son,

"for?"

"For not realizing you were hurting!" Naruto became hysteric, tears began to pour down his face as he waited, he waited for the reply of his father, eventually when he calmed down, he was looking at a slightly dumbfounded expression of his dad, causing his face to fall into a questioning expression.

"I don't have time to deal with stupidity..." Sasuke finally muttered out, eying his son carefully, making sure he wouldn't explode in salty tears again, Naruto's expression fell into one of 'disbelief', "but if you want me to arrange a shrink for you, I'd be more than happy." He finished, adding the last words in as an afterthought. His son had once amazed him in the aspect of how fucking stupid he is, and this, would just be another turn of events that showed Sasuke that the son he adopted was beyond stupid.

"Jerk" Naruto snapped, glaring towards the man he held little-to-no respect at this very moment, here he goes crying out his heart for the bastard, and said bastard tries to arrange him with a shrink! For fucking god sake, what kind of heartless man was he adopted by?

"hn" was the very thought out response, the two fell in silence has Sasuke waited for some sort of explanation towards the odd outburst, but of course, idiotic son, just joyfully erased all the memories prior to 5 minutes ago out of his puny little brain, '_thinking about me my ass_' the Uchiha male muttered in his thoughts to himself, approaching the blond, who was currently scouting the kitchen.

"Wanna go out for dinner?" Sasuke finally muttered out, grabbing a toothpick and placing it between his lips, watching as Naruto gave him a quick dirty look.

"Fuck you," the blond answered quickly, grabbing any piece of food before bolting upstairs.

"Love you too." Sasuke muttered out sarcastically, scanning through the packaged types of food he had in his house, clicking his tongue in distaste, he pulled out his cell phone, it was a decent one, it was a blackberry, and Sasuke had honestly not wanted one at first, but Neji insisted they had some sort of contact, and of course, the Uchiha caved eventually, getting the annoying device. He was sure he had already sued about 20 girls for obsessively calling him. No he was certain.

Scanning over his fridge, he stopped his eyes over 'Chinese take-out' quickly dialling in the number, he absentmindly thought about possibly ordering a few things for Naruto, he did feel bad that he pissed off his son for various reasons he isn't sure of, nor did he think it was healthy that his son came home crying and spurting out bull-shit like 'I'm sorry I didn't realize you were hurting' crap, than all of a sudden went back to normal and told said father off.

He gasped loudly, maybe his son was bipolar? His thoughts were quickly thrown out the window, when the Chinese take-out guy's voice rang through the phone, almost drooling at the possible thought of soon-to-be-dinner, he began listing the foods he would like, and like a good take-out bitch, they agreed happily and told him his food would be there in 30 to 40 minutes. (A/N: no offence take-out people o3o)

Of course — when he was done his order and hung up, his blond adopted child came flying downstairs,

"BASTARD! YOU ORDERED CHINESE WITHOUT ASKING ME WHAT I WANTED!" Naruto accused loudly, making a large 'thump' noise when he successfully ungracefully landed on the floor at the end of the stairs, Sasuke groaned loudly, hitting his forehead with his cell phone, he should've known Naruto would listen to his conversation.

"Yes," Sasuke said easily, looking up to his son with a death-glare, who glared back. "Cause said son got pissed at said father for no reason and didn't want to go out for dinner with said father, that ring a bell?" he finished, dropping the device into his dress pants pocket and sending his son another glare before throwing open the fridge to scan its contents.

"No" Naruto answered, glaring daggers at his father's back, "sounds like bullshit your making up, if I remember clearly it went, said son was talking to said friends who were worried about said father's recently deceased wife, so said son wanted to make sure said father was okay, then said father became some type of four-eyed know it all jerk, that sound familiar?"

Sasuke twirled on his heel, staring at his son in slight disbelief, Naruto had apparently been spending _waaay_ too much time with him, because the boy was getting one hell of a mouth. Opening and closing his mouth like a retarded fish — Naruto mentally kept the image in his head— the father grunted loudly, turning to the fridge once more,

"I don't need anybody worrying about me, retard." He muttered softly,

"Well to fucking bad old geezer, family worry about each other last time I checked—"

"the guide of how-to-be-a-retard?" Sasuke supplied helpfully, Naruto gapped at him, before launching his fist towards Sasuke's direction, who swiftly dodged.

"BASTARD!"

"'Che, someone needs to learn how to respect their father." The raven muttered sometime between dodging fist, the door-bell rang somewhere in between their fighting, and a determined glint in their eyes appeared, a glint of challenge. Both running full speed towards the door, which was hastily slammed open by Naruto, the Uchiha family stood proudly in front of the delivery man, who was cowering in fear as the two sent electricity too each other.

"take-out dude, give me that Chinese." Naruto said bluntly, sticking out his hand, which was slapped away from Sasuke.

"I believe that is my food, _Sasuke Uchiha's_, if I recall." Sasuke said powerfully, his son sent him a dirty glare for using names as a type of 'get the food' victory, and of course, the delivery man quickly shoved the food too Sasuke and ran away with the amount of money — and tip, he was given.

"FUCK YOU BASTARD!"

"I know you want too." Was the snarky reply, a beat-face red blond glared at him some more,

"I want a knew bastardly-father, _your too_ bastardly."

"Bastardly?"

"It's a word, you bastardly father."

"apparently an overly used word." Sasuke muttered under his breath, strutting towards the kitchen happily as he could, he had won the father/son clash, which meant he was more powerfully, so like a good little bitch Naruto was, he had to gravel at his feet — or so he thought before said son tried to snatch the Chinese from his hands, luckily the Uchiha's were trained from birth to have amazing reflexes.

Dodging the needy hands, he kept the food out of the boys reach, grabbing a fork, he popped one of the lids and began eating, making sure to extra sloppy too rub it in Naruto's drooling face. Smirking in victory, Naruto gave him another dirty look.

"You asshole"

"hn"

"I'm starving!"

"Oh?"

"bastard!" his son took another dive towards his father, but missed and ended up hitting the nearest wall, receiving an amused snort from Sasuke.


	4. Without Sunshine

SasuNaru / AU

This is an adoptive father x adoptive son relationship, meaning dadxson type of thing, don't like, don't read. For those who don't care and are looking for a fic with minimum spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes, please enjoy.

I don't own Naruto, Sasuke does— errr, I mean _Masashi Kishimoto _does.

_Side note: Thank you so much for the reviews! 3_

D A D D Y _P R O B L E M S_

_**Chapter four**_

A day _without_ sunshine is like, _well_, night.

_X_

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_X_

Today wasn't a very nice day,

Actually, it was the complete opposite from those perfect sunshine days where the sun is just golden and everyone is smiling like idiots, yes, it was one of those depressing rainy days. The rain was heavy, threatening to break your umbrella with each drop, the sky was a dull gray, no sun in sight, and crackles of thunder could be heard in the far off distance.

Problem was, Naruto had forgotten his umbrella, yeah, he was _totally _a geniuses son. But not only did he, so did Ino, Shikamaru —claiming bringing an umbrella was 'too troublesome'— and Kiba, well Kiba was a no brainer, considering the guy was the most retardest person alive. But Naruto kept his mouth closed, frowning at the rain.

"Well, it seems I'm the only smart person who brought one, and I ain't sharing." Temari eventually broke the heavy silence from her four friends that were staring at the rain as if it would magically disappear if they stared long enough, yeah, _it wasn't working_. Kiba let out a long frustrated sigh,

"Naruto, call you bastard of a father!" He demanded loudly, nudging his friend in the stomach with his elbow, who gave him a strangled type of look between 'are you nuts?' and 'fuck you', the fuck you was pretty much winning as the elbow was twisted more into his gut,

"Yeaaaah" Ino drawled out, flipping her hair in a weird motion, before sending the best friends a short annoyed huff/glare, the cerulean orbs, being abandoned by his other friends, sent Shikamaru a pleading look, the brunette stared for a moment before—

"I forgot an umbrella too." He spoke out, Ino and Kiba growing a pair of grins, Naruto sighed loudly, he wasn't sure if he should just run home, and scream profanities at his friends, or actually call Sasuke, his dad would murder him —not joking— if he was in a meeting and Naruto interrupted it, deciding on the latter, he pulled out his bright orange cell phone, and pressed 1 for speed dial.

Sooner than he would like, a bored business like tone came from the phone, "This is Neji Hyuuga, Secretary of Sasuke Uchiha, how may I help you?"

Naruto cleared his throat with a slight cough, "put dad on the phone" he half demanded, but half sweet voice, he could hear muffled voices in the back ground, one clearly his father's voice, before the business tone was again in the phone,

"He says...ahem... Forgive me, 'Fuck you the last thing I want to hear is your voice!', I apologize bu—"

"I need to talk to the damn bastard! Put him on or else I refuse to flush the toilet!" Temari and Ino gave their friend a disgusted look, but encouraged him, Neji, muttered something to the father, before Sasuke was placed on the phone.

"Goddamn worth nothing son, the fuck you ev—"

"pick me up at school, thanks, love youuuu, bye."

"Wai—!" Naruto snapped the orange phone shut before his father could protest, he had learnt it was better to hang up half way through the sentence, so that way Sasuke felt as if he had no other choice then to actually do the dirty deed, or deed, but hey, at least Naruto knew his dads weakness, but he couldn't use it all the time, or else Sasuke would get fed up and just leave Naruto somewhere on a street full of hookers and say 'good luck!' and drive away — cause Sasuke was a bastard like that.

15 minutes later, as Naruto expected, his grumbling father pulled into the school parking lot in his large black truck, earning whistles and jealous glares from other classmates, signalling to his friends, they ran for the truck and hopped in. The truck could hold 6 people easy, which was the amount of people they had, but if they wanted, they could squeeze another 4 people, but they wouldn't be getting seatbelts.

Naruto sat in the middle in the front, beside his father, Kiba beside him, Ino behind Sasuke, Shikamaru beside her, and Temari beside him, in total, the truck was full of gross greasy who-knows-when-they-last-showered teenagers, and Sasuke's eye was twitching, dangerously.

"Naruto," Sasuke finally said, ignoring the 'thanks' coming from the blonds friends, "you said to pick _you _up, not a bunch of re—" he snapped his mouth shut before the insult could leave, it wasn't his fault he hated children! Or teenagers, or anything younger than him!

Naruto snorted incoherent words, before the father roared the engine to life, after forgetting all the violent thoughts to shove them all out of his precious baby and run over them, okay — maybe the idea wasn't _completely _gone, but he would wait till there was no witnesses.

"Your dad is the fucking best~" Kiba finally purred out, breaking the silence, Ino gave a small 'wop' to single she agreed, Sasuke's eyebrow twitched again. He didn't want to be the best, frankly, he wanted to be the worst and make Naruto run away from home, and then _rot_ in some ditch, or something equally gory.

"Where are you going?" he asked between his death plotting, Naruto's azure watching him in knowing, but grunted to him.

"Kiba's house," Naruto answered somewhere between the teenagers screaming voices, "try to refrain from 'accidentally' running over us, love you?"

"Bullshit," forgetting to add the 'if you loved me you would go die somewhere', deciding he would save that one for possible use later. Beginning to drive, he was honestly starting to re-think the drop them on the side of the road plan as Temari, Ino and Naruto practically _screamed_ at each other.

"AND I WAS THINKING ONE DAY WE SHOULD CHILL AT MY HOUSE—" eye twitch.

"REALLY? THAT WOULD BE SOOOO COOL!" Naruto exclaimed to Ino, they weren't actually screaming, it was just that Sasuke liked quiet indoor voices, not voices you used to speak to people across a soccer field. So yet again, his eye twitched and his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"I WANNA COME!" Temari butted herself in, earning a disbelieving look from Shikamaru as Kiba hollowed —_loudly_— with laughter.

'Don't _kill them — killing a bunch of teenagers wouldn't be good for my business_' Sasuke reminded himself, glancing over at Naruto, who was currently in a heated discussion with Ino about eye-makeup, and so the one and only thought dawned on Sasuke.

Naruto _had_ too be gay, he was talking about fucking make-up for pete sakes! He made a mental note to ask Naruto when they had the chance to be alone, because there was a 99% chance that the blonds friends didn't know, considering most gays hid their sexuality, even though Naruto was doing a crap-ass job.

Soon enough they reared into Kiba's driveway, all of the stinky blonds and brunettes (excluding Naruto) jumped out of the car, Sasuke held his sons sleeve tightly,

"I'll be with you guys in a minute," Naruto finally clarified, Ino gave an annoyed huff and began strutting towards the bouncy dog boys house, the rest of their friends following her lead, slamming the door shut, Naruto turned his attention onto his father.

"What jackass? I'm sorry gosh I jus—"

"Are you gay?" he asked bluntly, looking up as a look of shocked appeared on Naruto's features,

"Problem with that?" his son muttered out, the raven took a shaky breath, he should've known better! All hot tanned boys with natural sun-shine blond hair were gay, and of course his ex-girlfriend would adopt a gay son! For fucking—

"No" Sasuke answered, turning his gaze back to the road, his heart thumping loudly as Naruto let out a relieved sigh.

"I must be the definition of the world's worst son, hey?" he teased slightly, nudging his father and frowning when the raven flinched to his touch. "You don't have to worry, I'm not into guys 10 years older than me, fucking pervert."

"it's not that!" Sasuke interjected, shutting his mouth firmly. "I'm not scared of you, you damn child, and your right, you are the worlds worst son." He finished his sentence with a loud sigh, but a playful smirk followed afterwards, Naruto laughed bitterly, sending his dad a cold 'heey you jerk!' glare, getting ready to jump out of the truck, he was stopped when a hand slipped into his electrical blond locks and tugged his head forward,

Naruto was quickly turned to be met with a warm forehead placed against his, his tanned cheeks quickly heating as Sasuke exhaled into the 16 year olds face.

"I'm not, honestly." Muttered the raven, mean while in Kiba's house as Temari, Kiba and Shikamaru all played away at the play station, Ino was currently looking out the window, spying on Naruto and Sasuke, she was a good lip reader, but she could only see Sasuke's face, so she was pretty much watching a one-sided conversation, plus the fact she missed the first part,

She had got Sasuke saying 'it's not that, and I'm not scared of you, and you're the worlds worst son' none of that was really a surprise, Naruto and Sasuke interacted really well, so blunt flirting or teasing was common between the two — apparently. But what shocked her, (she even made a loud shocked noise) was the fact when Naruto — by the looks of it — was getting out of the car, and his father pulled his head back, and from what she could see, they looked as if to be _kissing_.

She gasped loudly as the door shot open; she was too focused on watching the black truck roll away to even see Naruto walking towards Kiba's house with a blush fluttering over his features. Muttering things like 'damn pervert' and 'I'm not his damn lover! Stupid skin ship!' but of course, the blond girl didn't need to know anymore, she could already see it all, more than what she would have liked. She should have suspected something fishy between the two; Naruto sometimes gave off gay vibs, and didn't even flinch when he saw her bra!

Naruto was gay, they had a 10 year age gap, possible, it was possible. In Junjou Romantica the main characters were 10 years apart! But yet, being the good friend she is, she firmly pressed her lips shut and tackled her blond friend, both beginning to laugh like crazy.

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D a d d y P r o b l e m s

. . .

Sasuke could be fooled by his own emotions quite often, they often tricked him into believing things he didn't want to believe, but this was just moronically sappy. As he sat down at his giant island in the middle of the kitchen, making himself a cup of instant noodles, his thoughts —like always— led to a bright-blue eyed blond, which was considerably normal, considering that parents always think about their children and their well-being, he propped his elbow onto the kitchen island, before leaning his chin into the spread hand.

'_I wonder what those idiots are doing right now…_' he mused in his thoughts, staring at the light brown wall on the opposite end, '_I bet Naruto is doing something stupid…_' he continued his train of thoughts of possible out-comes what they might be doing, like playing computer games, and Kiba blows up —from unknown reasons— and than Naruto starts to act like a monkey and throws the computer on Ino and Temari, and kills them, and than Shikamaru dies in his sleep cause he was poisoned by the already-dead Kiba.

Another possible out-come would be there playing video games and Naruto and Ino are making out, —causing Sasuke's heart to ache painfully at the thought; until he remembered the crucial fact his son is _gaaaaay_—so he changed the whole idea there playing video games and _Kiba _and Naruto are making out, and Ino gets jealous and hits them over the head with the remote, killing the brunette, so Ino feeling guilty slits her wrist with Temari's teeth, and the blood, that has aids, kills her, and Shikamaru, again, dies in his sleep. Well it was difficult to imagine the lazy-male doing much else to die.

After a few million possibilities, mostly involving his son cheating on him, '_wait_' he stopped his thinking train, raising his head from his head, before a look of shock and disgust crossed his features, '_cheating on me_' he repeated the bitter words in his head a few times before he jolted up from his seat, hitting the folder of papers onto the floor, sending them flying in a million directions.

"PEDOPHILE!" he screamed out in the open, casting his gaze towards the picture of Sakura somewhere in the kitchen — it was a very pretty picture, it was the only picture Sasuke had of the girl not modeling, they had gone to a summer home they had in Hawaii for a week, even if the pinkette _didn't_ know her boyfriend had taken the picture, it was of her in her floral pink and blue knee skirts, and her to the elbow sweater, which fluttered behind her like a cape, her petite head was turned to face Sasuke, giving him a flustered smile.

It was his favourite picture of her, she didn't look fake she didn't mask emotions — she was purely her at that very moment. It was living, breathing proof that the woman he loved was not a Barbie doll, she was a person, no matter what others had thought or whispered behind her back. _They_ had adopted Naruto, Naruto was _their_ son. Even if they weren't his real parents, they were damned trying.

But he even had the bloody guts to go and think about his son in that type of way, he wasn't suited to be a father — and he even knew Naruto didn't think of him as a father, he probably saw Sasuke as a brother or, something _much_ worse. What if Naruto only respected him as a replacement father? He didn't want to be anyone's replacement, he wanted to be the dad of his and Sakura's son, the beeping from the boiling water warned him once again — after it's 5th try.

Noticing the sound, his attention turn to making his way over to the boiling water, ignoring the littered papers, he poured the steaming liquid into the ramen cup before sealing the little piece of paper for the lid over again, the abyss orbs darted back onto the farmed picture again, placing the ramen cup in the corner somewhere, he made his way over to the picture, removing it from the wall and taking out the photo.

'_She must be fuming in heaven right now_.' He thought unhappily, folding the little piece in half before placing it into a corner on a nearby shelf. '_Framing pictures she didn't know I took, thinking wrong things about our son,_' he sighed loudly, stretching his neck by to look at the roof.

"you must be mad" he said quietly, waiting for some sort of response from the woman — like she could give one.

. . .

D a d d y P r o b l e m s

. . .

Naruto and Kiba were currently busy shooting down an army of Zombies as Ino cheered for Naruto, Temari cheered for Kiba, Shikamaru was well, sleeping. It wasn't just any Zombie shooting game though — the brunette and the blond were having a war to see who could shoot more, currently, by 2, Naruto was winning. While Kiba frantically pressed away at his remote control buttons, the Uchiha son was doing the whole thing with much ease.

"GO NARUTO!" Temari yelled loudly, whipping her fist into the air, Kiba sent his blond friend a dirty glare,

"your suppose to be cheering for me!" He demanded in a disbelieving tone, the girl merely snorted, rolling her pretty little eyes.

"Your losing," she clarified bluntly, placing her elbows onto her knee's as she grinned, "badly" she added. Ino chuckled a bit, nudging Shikamaru over and over in the gut demanding he watch the 'battle'

Blowing up 8 zombies, adding onto his score, Kiba continued to attack the same zombie he had been attacking for 20 minutes —

"NARUUTTOOOO!"

"Troublesome…"

"SHUT UP!"

"SHIKAMARU WATCH THE GAME—"

_Rinnnnng_

Quickly pausing the game, ignoring the protest that came form his friends, Naruto would've ignored the call — but he had given his father a special ringtone, so he knew he had to answer it, flipping open his phone, "wassup dad?" he muttered out into the phone, shoving it between his shoulder and holding it with his cheek, before unpausing the game, but giving his friends a warning glare to be quiet. He didn't need to get bitched at later.

"You what?" a string a disbelief crossed the child's tone — "I've only been here for like 2 hours!"

A gasp of shock came from Ino, remembering today's early activities between the two.

"You can't go home again!" The blond-ponytail woman jumped forward, intent to steal Naruto's phone, the Uchiha child quickly moved himself out of her range,

"Study? Wait what? Aaaww, come on daddy —"

"Naruto you can't go back to him!" Ino screeched out again, if she knew anything, she knew that a father and a son couldn't have a relationship.

"Why the fuck not? And I'm not going back, dads just being a jackass." Naruto snapped back, sending her a weird look. "Dad no! I don't fucking st—"

"Lonely? Your such a pussy…"

That's it, Ino had it, the girl clutched her sides.

"A FATHERXSON RELATIONSHIP IS TOTALLY WRONG!" she screeched out, her face flushing red, Naruto send her a 'what the fuck' look before snapping his phone shut on his father.

"What?"

"I saw you two kiss!"

"W-what?" the blond's face flushed a crimson red, "K-kiss? What the hell are you talking about! We don't kiss! Sure he has a weird forehead skin ship fettish, b—"

"Wait forehead fettish?" the lighter blond asked looking at her friend in embarrassment.

"Why is he saying he's lonely than?"

"Oh I don't know, his girlfriend just died in front of his eyes?" was the bitter reply, Naruto was honestly confused with Ino this very moment — and as his friends gave him weird looks, he couldn't help but feel more embarrassed than ever, what kind of friend thinks that her friend has a fling thing going on with their father? Sighing loudly, he gave a sheepish smile to her direction. Before he could explain himself further, said fling father reared his ass into a brunette's drive way. "look, nothing is going on between me and Sasuke-bastard, anyways I gotta go, thanks for having me over!" Hurriedly, he snatched all his stuff and made his way to the silk black truck.

"Oh?" Shikamaru finally muttered out, his eyes closed and arms wrapped behind his neck, Temari sent him a weird look — being the only one who had heard him, Kiba and Ino to engrossed in their conversation to hear the lazy-smart one's reply to Naruto's comment. "you seem like you like him…" Was what the sentence was continued by, the blond woman sent the male she liked a disgusted look, but shrugged it off, she didn't want to get involved with Shikamaru's smartass-ness.

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D a d d y P r o b l e m s

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"What?" Sasuke eventually broke the silence, he didn't think Naruto would give him the silent treatment for trying to make him study — well, a little silence once and awhile was okay, but he didn't want him and the blond idiot to stop speaking to each other in general, said son grunted to the comment before looking into the mirror above his adoptive father.

"Ino thought we kissed! Stop doing that damn forehead thingy…" 

Sasuke choked on the air in front of him, coughing a few times, trying to send the disgusting image of his son and him kissing out of his head, he sent the blond a doubtful look. "Seriously? That's disgusting." Was the monotone reply, but both knew the raven was being completely serious. Naruto gave a bitter laugh in return, leaning his elbow onto the side of him before sending his azure eyes to look in the direction of blurring tree's and grass.

"Yeah, disgusting, sure."

How come that didn't sound truthful to either of them?

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**A/N: I HOPE THAT WAS LONG ENOUGH 8D lmfao, thankies for all the wonderful, wonderful, reviews. I didn't read this over (well I read some parts over) and it tookie forever to write BUT — just tell me if my grammar/spelling is off, cause we all make mistakes.**


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